


must be love on the brain.

by sakuyamons



Category: Digimon Tamers
Genre: F/F, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuyamons/pseuds/sakuyamons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruki realized she had a crush on her best friend when she was fourteen.</p><p>Her reaction? Oh shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	must be love on the brain.

**Author's Note:**

> prompt for day 2!! it's “The First Emotion of Love".
> 
> As I said, you can read all of them separately but most of these fics are situated on the same universe.

Ruki was fourteen when she realized she had a crush on her best friend.

 

Her reaction?

 

_Oh shit._

 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, she had known she was into girls since last year - but she didn’t tell anyone, not out of shame, but because it wasn’t their damn business and Juri and her had grew up to be very close to the point Juri stays at her house on the weekends and sometimes on the middle of the week under the excuse of studying.

 

Excuses, that is.

 

Because Juri decided to do a pillow fight when Ruki was trying to explain her physics, chanting ‘ _booooring_ ’ over and over again.

 

And Ruki doesn’t back down.

 

And it had been in the middle of the pillow fight, between the tone of her rock music and Juri’s laughter when her pillow hits Ruki in the face when she realizes.

 

 _I_ **_like_ ** _Juri. Oh, Shit._

 

But she doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s going to let her get away with hitting her with a pillow on her face, so she just keeps playing along, she is going to deal with it, eventually, one day.

 

Juri hits her with the pillow again.

 

“Earth to Ruki! Hello! You there?”

 

Yeah, one day she will tell her.

 

“I hope you’re prepared to get your ass kicked.” She replied with a playful tone.

 

Maybe.

 

* * *

 

 

Having a crush on your best friend is absolutely the shittiest idea she’s ever had on her entire life, or rather, realizing you have a crush on said best friend is the shitty part of the idea.

 

The _problem_ with Juri is that she happens to be very touchy to show her affection, no matter what they are doing, she must do something to show how much she appreciates a person, and usually she does this by hugging, Ruki isn’t really a fan of hugging - she only lets her mom and grandma do it and they don’t do it often because they know she doesn’t like it, but she lets Juri hug her sometimes because…

 

(Because you liked her since you were playing Digimon Cards but you realized now!)

 

Just because.

 

Juri doesn’t hug her often, though, because she knows Ruki isn’t into it, and she respects her and her personal space, but she’s sure to hug her goodbye, luckily she doesn’t look back, so Ruki doesn’t have to worry about her seeing her blush and the inevitable questions that would follow after.

 

She remembers vaguely that Takato was acting like that when he had the crush on Juri, and she doesn’t know what is worse, the fact that she’s has a crush on Juri or that she’s behaving like Takato.

 

* * *

 

 

She knows it’s useless.

 

Jian and Takato know as much about romance as she does, Takato isn’t taking seriously by any girl because although he’s fourteen he’s still shorter than her and Jian, and Jian is taken seriously but he respectfully declines every love letter, and these are the people she’s supposed to ask for advice.

 

“Let’s say, hypothetically, that I have a…” The word sounds cringy on her voice “crush.”

 

Jian just nods in acknowledgment, while Takato gasps in surprise.

 

“You have a crush?”

 

Why does Takato have to always repeat what she just said but in interrogation form?

 

“Yes, gogglehead, that’s what I said. Hypothetically speaking.”

 

She knows they won’t be able to help, they’re good people, they’re her friends and she’d kill anyone that insulted them without her permission (don’t tell them), but they are as bad as romance as she is, yet that’s why she told them, because she needs to get this out her chest and she knows they won’t talk if she tells them.

 

“Can you tell us who it is?”

 

“Jian, you’re the smart one here, you already know.”

 

Jian stared at her for a minute before everything fell back into place and all he could say it was a simple oh, he whispered to Takato his not so unexpected revelation and the other boy just stared with their mouth open before he exclaimed.

 

“DO YOU LIKE KA-”

 

She sent him a death glare that shuts him up at the instant but doesn’t say anything to deny it.

 

“Well…” Takato sounds embarrassed “I did try to confess once.”

 

“You did!?” Jian and Ruki asked at the unison, Ruki hoped she didn’t sound that concerned, and if she did, Jian didn’t say anything.

 

“I-It happened years ago!” Takato raised his hands as self-defense “And it wasn’t like her...like...when we were back from the Digital World, I told her that I felt responsible and that I really...really liked her, but it wasn’t her...it was the D-Reaper.”

 

And she thought she had problems.

 

“Do you still like her, Takato?” She asked, hiding her clenched fists on her jacket’s pockets.

 

In the case that Juri liked her back, she wasn’t going to the opportunity pass, but she really didn’t want to be involved in a love triangle in case Takato was still in love with her, that would only end in a disaster because all of them are friends and if it’s shitty seeing those stupid love stories on tv, it would be shittier to experience them.

 

“I-I don’t think so, she’s a really good friend and really pretty but...I don’t think I see her that way, not anymore”

 

She unclenched her fists and she almost lets out a sigh of relief, almost.

 

“Good to hear, so...do any of you have a convincing advice?”

 

“Write her a love letter!” Jian suggested

 

“I’m not that corny.”

 

“An anonymous love letter, then” Takato seconded.

 

“Not that corny.”

 

“Let Jian hit on her for you.”

 

“You cannot say a worse idea than that.”

 

Yet they did, one after another, at the beginning it was a clear attempt to try to help their friend, but somewhere in the middle they just sprouted out nonsense which she was irritated at the beginning but at the end she was laughing alongside them, stupid Takato and Jian could always cheer her up.

 

But part of her tries not to think that she’d feel way more comfortable about this if Renamon were here, she’d probably not understand it, but she’d be _fucking there_ and…

 

It would be easier not to think about her at all.

 

* * *

 

“I’m back!”

 

“Welcome back, Ruki-chan.” Grandma greeted from the kitchen “Did you bring the eggs?”

 

Ah, shit, this always happens.

 

“I forgot, I will get them later, is mom here?”

 

“Yes, she ended the photo shoot early today, she’s in her room if you need her. Oh, and Ruki?”

 

“Yes, grandma?”

 

“Juri-chan called today, she told me you haven’t talked for awhile and wanted to know where you were.”

 

Ah shit.

 

It had been _more or less_ unintentional, she didn’t try to avoid Juri by hiding from her or refusing to hang with her, it’s just that she had been busy trying to find some good advice that she hadn’t found yet, but she was trying to keep distance so her friend wouldn’t ask why she was acting weird, but Juri wasn’t stupid, she would feel that something was wrong if Ruki was hanging out with Jian and Takato but not her.

 

And she probably hurt Juri’s feelings.

 

She’s probably doing this falling in love shit wrong.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“Well - she confessed she hoped you weren’t mad at her -”

 

“I am not!”

 

Her grandma sent her a glare that must certainly run on this side of her family.

 

“I told her that you were not and she had no need to worry about that. That you were running errands for your mom today so that’s why you weren’t there and that you’d call her tonight.”

 

Few girls can say that their grandmother saved her back like Ruki’s just did.

 

And she was going to get the eggs tonight in a way of thanks.

 

But mom was at home today because she got a photoshoot cancelled and next week was going to be hellish and she wouldn’t want to bother her with love stuff when she’s actually busy, so she decides to walk towards her mom’s bedroom to find her talking to some useless cretin on the phone, she knows it’s a useless cretin because Rumiko is frowning and despite her nice voice of tone, she’s clearly pissed.

 

“Find some way to fix that, I cannot be at two places at once, goodnight Kirishita-san.” And then she hung out.

 

“Problems?”

 

“You have no idea.” Rumiko rolled her eyes “Apparently, I have two photoshoots for Friday at the same hour on different places and it’s too late to cancel.”

 

“It has happened before.” Ruki pointed out, and she really doesn’t get why her mom just doesn’t fire this guy or has a calendar where herself can see if she’s busy that day or not “You did three photoshoots in a day once, I believe.”

 

“Not when one of them are outside Tokyo.”

 

“You’re screwed, then.”

 

“I don’t think you came to my room to hear me complain about my job.” Rumiko interlaced her hands together as she told Ruki to sit “If my maternal intuition isn’t wrong, you need help.”

 

“It’s about...romantic relationships.”

 

Rumiko squealed.

 

“Aw, my baby has a crush!”

 

“Mom!”

 

“You’re all grown up! I’m so emotional! Who caught your heart, Ruki-chan? Tell mom everything, but before you do, let me guess: it was Juri, and before you ask, you’re not subtle at all, I mean, you’re blushing right now!”

 

“I’m not blushing!” Yes, she was “Are you done squealing over my love life?”

 

“I believe so. Continue.”

 

She had never felt the need to come out to her family, perhaps because she knew that they knew with the subtle hints she had given on purpose through her puberty, her mom might act as an airhead sometimes, it was just that: acting, and her she’s sure her grandmother knew before Ruki knew, and perhaps that was the reason why she just talked..

 

Yes, it’s a stupid thing to get worried about, she knows Juri is a great girl with a golden heart (hell, forgiving Impmon was proof of it, God knows that she wouldn’t have done it had it been Renamon who had died) and that she wouldn’t just cut her off forever if Ruki’s crush (agh!) was unrequited, yet, it was obvious that it could be very...uncomfortable.

 

In fact, as stupid it sounds, the scenario of Juri breaking up ties with her completely would be the easier scenario, sure, she’d cry her heart out for a week (not that she would admit it) and then she’d carry on with her life, she misses Renamon every single day but she carries on with her life, she could do the same with Juri, even if the situation isn’t exactly the same.

 

But she had seen how uncomfortable Jian is when a member of his fanclub (she had said the word once and he had glared at her, and she had laughed at him - it’s not so fun in retrospective) sends him love letters, if that would make an invisible wall between Juri and her, she’s not sure she would handle it well, in fact, she’s sure it would end in disaster.

 

But still, how much could she stand keeping this in the dark? What is she going to do when the best friend title just isn’t enough?

 

“So, that’s my problem.” Ruki finished “Tell me you can help me with this, please.”

 

“You’re not going to like what I’m going to say, but you just need to confess.”

 

That’s all? Just confess?

 

However, her mom wasn’t finished.

 

“I know it’s hard, it was hard for me when I was your age, I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you, and yes, your scenarios are all valid, but what if she likes you back?”

 

“I...haven’t thought about that.”

 

Rumiko smiled.

 

“No one does, everyone at your age is too busy dealing with teenage angst that you never imagine a positive outcome, even if it’s possible.”

 

“But what if I’m right? What if she rejects me?”

 

“I will write a note to your school saying that you’re sick so you can cry your heart out with no interruptions for a week.” She knew her mom was half-joking, if everything turned right, she might even consider it funny later “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll just think of a way to resolve it, there are worse things that heartbreak, be grateful you don’t know them yet.”

 

“Wow.” Ruki was impressed “I didn’t know you could be that deep.”

 

Rumiko threw a pillow at her.

 

“Why do you ruin the moments, Ruki-chan? I can _finally_ give you advice and the only thing you can say is that you didn’t know that I was that deep?”

 

“I’m not insulting you, I’m just surprised!”

 

“You’re insulting me now!”

 

“I’m not!”

 

“Yes, you are. If you give me a hug I’ll let it pass.”

 

Ruki wasn’t a big hugger, but she could do exceptions, from time to time.

 

* * *

 

 

This confessing thing was going to be the hardest thing she had done so far on her fourteen years of life.

 

(She said this to her mom this morning and she had rolled her eyes and told her _‘You saved the world when you were eleven, and this is the hardest thing you’ve done?’_ and Ruki had said yes, grandma stared at her for five minutes in disbelief because she couldn’t think she was serious.

 

Hell, beating the D-Reaper was simple in theory, this was complicated in _theory_ and _practice.)_

 

When she called Juri, the very first thing she did was apologize for acting dodgy those couple of days, claiming she had stuff to think about, Juri told her that she understood and that if she needed help with anything, she’d be more than happy to help.

 

“Actually...I think you can. Do you mind coming to my house tomorrow?”

 

“Not at all! For what?”

 

“Advice.”

 

“Sure thing! At what hour?”

 

“Whichever you’re available. Come at 4 A.M if you want to, actually, don’t do that.”

 

Juri laughed.

 

“It’s around two in the afternoon alright?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“See you there, then.”

 

“Goodnight.”

 

She chose the day after she came for two reasons.

 

Conveniently, grandma decided to go with mom to resolve her issue with those photoshoots (That day of all? Zero transparency) which would make just the two of them, and secondly, so she wouldn’t have second thoughts about it.

 

And if she had them? Too late for back off.

 

Juri and she had accorded to meet at her house around two, however, she was aware that Juri was going to be here at two o’clock because she was awfully punctual, she still had time to think what she was going to say before -

 

_Ding-Dong._

 

What do you mean it was two o’clock already? Shit, she wasn’t ready, fuck love, and fuck her mom for suggesting that fighting the D-Reaper was more difficult than this!

 

“Hi, Juri.”

 

“Good afternoon, Ruki” Juri did that smile of hers that made Ruki smile too on instinct “I brought cupcakes.”

 

“That’s...great.”

 

“Where’s your grandma?”

 

“Mom has problems with some photoshoots, got scheduled three in one day and one is out of Tokyo, so grandma went with her to try to resolve it, she still left some food in case you haven’t eaten, have you?”

 

“Yes, thank you.”

 

Damn.

 

Juri was quiet.

 

“Is there something wrong?”

 

It wasn’t that Juri couldn’t be quiet, there had been many nights where none of them felt like sleeping and one of them would turn up the tv and they would watch some cartoon that was on the tv without none of them saying anything, not even for ask to the remote control to change the channel, they would watch whatever garbage television there were at two A.M till one of them fell asleep.

 

But this.

 

This was uncomfortable.

 

“I know you already said no but…” Juri looked at everywhere except her friend's eyes “Are you mad at me?”

 

If there’s somebody in this house that she is mad at, it’s at herself and her own bullshit.

 

“I’m not, I mean it, you would know if I’m mad.” She almost says _I could never be mad at you_ , but it’s not the right moment, not yet “It’s just as I told you...I have been thinking about…” _You_ “Things, and I really didn’t know what to do, so I might have pushed you away unintentionally, and I shouldn’t do that and...I’m sorry.”

 

“You promise you’re not mad?”

 

“I promise.”

 

Juri sighed in relief “I’m happy to hear that.” But then she frowned, and Ruki knew exactly why “But I am your best friend, after all, why didn’t you ask me for advice?”

 

Oh man, oh man.

 

She’d honestly feel happy if a she got struck by a thunder right now.

 

“That’s...why...I called you here, I need your...help.”

 

“Sure! What do you need?”

 

Oh well, she has never backed off anything and it’s too late to start,

 

“You know? Well, of course, you know, but like...I’m not really a people person but I really took a liking on you since the very first time we met, maybe because we were the only girls in the group...and because someone needed to save you from those mediocre digimon card players…” Juri snorted and Ruki couldn’t help but smile, too “But, I mean, I considered you a friend even though we barely knew each other and after all that happened, I wanted to remain in contact with you because as I said, I considered you a friend and I really…” She looked at the table where her D-Arc was “I really didn’t felt like saying goodbye to a friend again.”

 

“Ruki…”

 

“Let me finish.” She wasn’t one to open up often, so she might as well do it all at once and never mention it again “I really don’t know how, but we grew close, you and I know that well, I know I call you my best friend, but Takato and Jianliang fit that role better, I cannot say I see you as a sister, because Renamon fills - I mean _filled_ that role.” She really missed that fucking fox, and it’s the second time she realizes how much in these couple of weeks “I see you as...something bigger, if you say yes, that is.”

 

“If I say yes?”

 

“I...I like you, Juri.”

 

Okay, it hadn’t been that hard.

 

And that was a lie.

 

She couldn’t even bear to look at Juri in the eye, all of those corny love movies lied, the confession is never romantic, it’s just an awkward mess.

 

“I-I mean...it’s okay if you say no, you don’t owe me shit and -”

 

She didn’t expect Juri to push her against a wall and kiss her.

 

Those stupid romance movies also lied about the first kiss, it’s not something romantic with corny music in the background, it’s awkward and while your lips are pressed against each other you don’t know where to put your hands in but...if she were to say it out loud it felt so nice, awkward but nice.

 

She supposes that’s how it feels when you really like someone, she also supposes she should say something, but she cannot! She feels really dumbstruck right now, so the only intelligent thing she can say it’s…

 

“Wait, you like me?”

 

(Oh, she can hear her mom’s _I told you so_ on the back of her mind.)

 

Juri was surprised at the question.

 

“Of course I like you, I kissed you!”

 

“Y-You’re right, dumb question.”

 

Her.. _.friend_ did seem to enjoy this.

 

“You’re flustered!”

 

“I am not!”

 

“You’re so cute!”

 

Ruki took a deep breath, she could feel her cheeks turning from pink to full red, she held Juri’s hand, interlacing her fingers with hers.

 

“...You’re cuter.”

 

This time, it had been her who started the kiss, one hand still holding Juri’s hand while the other on the others’ hips - it was still as awkward, very obvious that none of them had done this sort of thing before - but there was still some kind of rush to feel Juri’s lips against hers that made her feel butterflies on her stomach, she’d say a comment about her lipstick, but Juri didn’t use lipstick.

 

If she could have maintained the kiss forever, she would.

 

Unfortunately, their lungs needed air, so they broke the kiss.

 

“So…” Juri began “I think we are dating now?”

 

She is smiling, she’s smiling like an idiot and she knows it because Juri’s smile is so big it probably matches hers.

 

“Yes, I guess we are.”

 

“I knew those cupcakes I brought were going to be good for something, it’s also a coincidence that they have pink frosting”

 

“Juri!”

 

“Don’t ruin the moment with your complaining.”

 

And just because she is right and she would ruin the moment, she keeps her mouth shut as she and Juri go to the kitchen to eat Juri’s stupid cupcakes, she’s sure mom has some wine hidden on some part of the house, if they don’t drink it all she won’t miss it, it isn’t a romantic date, but whatever, they have the whole house for them until mom and grandma come out, she’ll plan on a corny date later.

 

She’s almost sure these cupcakes come from the Matsuda bakery and if she’s right then this pink frosting was almost certainly Takato’s idea, Juri probably told him she was going to her house and Takato decided to put pink frosting because pink means love, he isn’t as dumb as he looks, she might as well thank him later.

 

But right now? Nothing else matters except her and her...girlfriend.

 

(Wow, that sounds nice.)

 

“I thought you didn’t like to drink wine.” Juri pointed out as Ruki filled her glass.

 

“I don’t, but I can do exceptions from time to time, if we don’t like it, we can just throw it away.”

 

Juri laughed.

 

“Your mom’s gonna kill you.”

 

“A risk I’m willing to take.” Ruki shrugged as she raised her glass “For us?”

 

Juri clinked her glass with hers.

  
“For us.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> #letrukikissgirls2k16


End file.
